Excerpt: I hang pictures until the walls begin to grunt in full sentences; the frames answer with polite crackling, and I nod: yes, today we exhibit the alphabet of snouts.

H2: Opening – I hang up my snouts

I warm my hands on the pink of paint. A giggle escapes the bristles and sits down like a visitor in the first row. I straighten a canvas; it straightens me back. We are even. The floor rehearses a squeak, the ceiling practices silence, and I—curator, custodian, culprit—press the switch that turns light into pork-chops of sunshine. Oink becomes ink becomes I.

H3: Sound Inventory (for responsible listening)
oink, ink, inking, pink, brink, clink, kink, wink.
Snout-syllables allowed to mingle freely with shoe-squeaks and gallery coughs.
No refunds for echo.

H2: Dialogue of Tail & Shadow (one act, no actors)

TAIL: I’m a comma that refuses to stop.
SHADOW: I’m the paragraph where you finally breathe.
TAIL: Curl me tighter; I’m a spring waiting to remember.
SHADOW: Fold me flatter; I’m a map of doubt.
WALL (interrupting softly): Please do not touch the metaphors.
I (whispering): Too late. They have touched us first.

H3: Small List of Things I Won’t Explain

— Why the snout knows geometry.
— Why the ear is a boat that sails on giggles.
— Why pink is the most complicated theory of gravity.
— Why my paintbrush keeps saying “again.”

H2: How to Look at a Pig Without Blinking

Step 1: Let your eyebrows learn to dance.
Step 2: Count the bristles like minutes before a kiss.
Step 3: When the canvas breathes, breathe back.
Step 4: If a hoof knocks, answer in hoof.
Step 5: Leave with more questions than pockets.

H3: Curatorial Note (for the conspirators in the back row)

This gallery speaks fluent nonsense with rigorous timing; kindness to pigs is mandatory, mockery is reserved for habits and hierarchies.

H2: Captions for Your Walls (assign freely)

1. “I invented a horizon and ate half of it.”
2. “Portrait of a snout thinking about commas.”
3. “Pink thunder rehearsing for a quiet storm.”
4. “Tail practicing cursive on the afternoon.”
5. “The ear that overheard tomorrow.”
6. “Hoofprints across the museum of maybe.”
7. “A laugh falls out of frame and keeps laughing.”
8. “Landscape with stubborn giggle (self-portrait).”
9. “Still life with moving intention.”
10. “Shadow doing paperwork in light.”
11. “A bristle counts to thirteen, then rests.”
12. “Please do not feed the metaphors (they bite back).”

H2: Encore – The audience is a snout

I bow to the frames that bowed to me. The pigs, patient and precise, adjust the room by a millimeter of wonder. Someone claps; the silence blushes; the door opens and becomes a mouth. I don’t conclude—I curl, like a tail in a good mood. And as the last visitor leaves, the pictures keep whispering: oink, think, link—look how the world wobbles when kindness is the punchline.